The trauma of his mother's death
, according to Prince Harry
, led to him using alcohol and drugs to "mask" his emotions and "feel less like I was feeling."
Diana, Princess of Wales, died in a car accident while being pursued by the press in Paris in August 1997, when Harry was only 12 years old.
The Duke of Sussex addressed traumatic childhood memories in the first three episodes of Apple TV
's The Me You Can't See, including the famous photo of him walking behind Diana's coffin at her funeral with his brother, father, uncle, and grandfather.
“The sound of the horses
’ hooves going along the Mall was the thing I remember the most,” the 36-year-old told Oprah Winfrey
, his series co-host.
“It was as if I were outside of my body
, just walking along doing what was expected of me; (I was) showing one-tenth of the emotion that everyone else was showing: This was my mother – you'd never even met her.”
The series focuses on mental health
, with Harry telling Oprah that the loss trauma caused him to suffer from anxiety and severe panic attacks from the ages of 28 to 32.
He explained, "I was just all over the place mentally."
“Every time I put on a suit and tie... having to do the role, and go, ‘right, game face,’ look in the mirror, and say, ‘let’s go,’ I was sweating profusely. I was in fight or flight mode before I even left the house
“I was willing to drink, I was willing to take drugs, I was willing to try and do things that would make me feel less like I was feeling,” he said.
He admitted to Oprah that he would consume a week's worth of alcohol on a Friday or Saturday night "not because I was enjoying it, but because I was trying to mask something."
During the show, Harry also accused his family of "total neglect" when his wife Meghan was suicidal due to online harassment.
One of the "biggest reasons" the couple left the UK, according to Harry, was the alleged abandonment.
“I will never, ever be bullied into silence again,” he added.
In the United States, call 800-662-HELP (4357) for the SAMHSA National Helpline if you need assistance with a substance use disorder or a mental health issue.